Not Good Enough for You
by that.smiley
Summary: Chase and Rory, in the early stages of their relationship, have one fear: That they aren't good enough for the other person. This one-shot shows how they learned to have a healthy relationship, as Rory struggles with what she wants versus what she "should" have, and Chase learns to be more vocal about his emotions. :) Warning: minor swearing and non-graphic intimate kissing.


**A/N Hello! This story is less fluffy than my last two, but I hope you guys like it all the same. This one is more about early-Chory, as they're figuring out how to be in a relationship that's heathy, honest, and open. Rory's learning to be impulsive, while Chase is learning to speak his mind. Thanks to all the lovely reviews I got for those two, by the way! They made my stomach feel fluttery, like a sunrise. Happy reading, and happy late birthday to our one and only, Rory Landon. (Shelby's said it was July 19, I think.)**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Rory's POV**

I knew we would go on different missions eventually. The Cannon sent Chase out without me a few months back, and he came home with scars and scrapes to brag about merrily. I just didn't realize that my first mission without him would make him so scared for my well-being.

Chase called me on the M3 twice daily for the first week. He would lick his lips and run his hands through his hair and ask, "Are you sure you're okay, Rory?" I _was_ okay, until the eighth day of the mission.

Our M3s were smashed—mine and Ben's—by a wolf scouting nearby. I was terrified. He looked almost exactly like _Mark_. I was hardly breathing. My hands shook. I vomited, which made Ben vomit as well. We were a mess, and I had no way to reach Chase to tell him so.

Eventually, Ben and I found the locket for Lena's newest addition to the carryalls. (It held a spell that would allow the wearer to be invisible for a time, and Lena wanted to replicate it.) It only took three more days. But those were three days of sleepless nights and no way to even know how everything was going at EAS. Three days of wondering if Chase and Lena were even alive.

It was foolish of me to be so worried about _them_ when I was the one in Atlantis, but I was scared anyway. Fear acts without reason, more often than not.

When Ben and I returned to EAS, the courtyard was in a frenzy. Everyone was freaking out. They were the personification of my feelings. It was pure chaos; a group of human tornados.

Lena rushed right toward us, asking as many questions as humanly possible. I interrupted by hugging her tightly because _she was alive_ and she was acting just like her normal self and I'd been so scared for no reason and I couldn't contain how relieved I was to know that she was there.

Her questions paused after a minute or two. There was still one cocky, worried face missing from the crowd.

"Lena, where's Chase?" My voice was constructed of panic. Pure, uncensored terror.

"He should be in his room," Lena said, resting a gold hand on my shoulder. "He's been in there since your M3s broke."

"Thanks, Lena," I said. My feet moved faster than ever before to get to him. I could feel myself wanting to sob, but I bit the desire down. I'd scared him enough.

As I ran from hallway to hallway, I heard his unmistakable voice. He was screaming at someone. "I DON'T CARE HOW DANGEROUS IT IS! YOU HAVE TO LET ME FIND HER! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HURT SHE MIGHT BE RIGHT NOW? NO, YOU LISTEN—"

I banged on the door to the Sarah Thumb's office. "Open up! It's Rory!" I said. My voice held authority, somehow, but I didn't feel very bold.

The door swung open. Blonde curls. Green eyes. Closed fists. Chase.

Was he holding a tissue?

"Rory," he whispered, voice barely audible. He stepped closer to me, reaching a hand out to touch my cheek. When he got closer, I noticed that his eyes were red and puffy. That was the second time I ever saw Chase cry. (The third was when he saw me in my wedding dress, but that's a story for another day.)

He kissed me, and I felt his lower lip tremble against my own. _You terrified him, Rory! You're such a horrid girlfriend! He deserves better than you!_ My thoughts grabbed hold of my mind and twisted it, in Adelaide's cold voice, so I could no longer think straight. "Chase, go to your apartment, okay? I'll meet you there in a few minutes. I just have to get the recap in, okay?" If there was only one thing I could do for Chase at that moment, and it was get him away from the prying eyes of onlookers. He hated the vulnerable feeling.

He nodded at me slightly, eyes cast downward. I wondered if he hated me, too.

I turned to Sarah Thumb, launching into distracted details. "Um, I think we only used a few supplies that day," I'd say, my mind in another place. The Adelaide in my head kept telling me how useless I was. She'd been up there since the first day of the mission.

"Would you mind getting the recap from Ben? I'm sorry, I'm just really distracted." She must have noticed how much distressed I was because she let me leave without another word.

I ran to Chase's room, knocking on his door repeatedly.

"Go away, please." That was his voice, but sadder.

"Chase, no, it's me. It's Rory."

I waited a few seconds before he opened the door.

He was still crying.

His eyes bore into mine. They were so upset and worried. I reached a hand up to his face to wipe away his tears. He welcomed me inside, closing the door behind us. Then, he let out the loudest sob I'd ever heard in my life, breaking away from my touch. Ashamed of his feelings, he turned away from me and clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Chase," I whispered, walking closer to hug him. His whole body was shaking. In sadness or fear, I was unable to tell.

"I-I thought y-y-you we-were dead!" he choked, holding my head to his chest. I thought I might start crying too, he was so heartbroken.

"Why didn't you call me?" he whispered. I felt his wet chin on my forehead.

"A wolf attacked us. It broke our M3s. Chase, I wanted to call you, but I couldn't. I'm so sorry." My lip quivered slightly, wanting to join Chase in his crying. I decided not to mention Mark's look-alike. This was his moment of despair, not mine.

He lifted me slightly so we were eye-level. His arms were _so warm_ and so were his glorious eyes. My heart beat fast.

His voice came low, with insecurity all over it. That was unusual for him. "I-I thought you were trying to break up with me." His voice came out in crashes of sadness. It felt like the Snow Queen was back, and she wanted to make me feel weak by manipulating the people I loved. I did that a lot on my own, now that she was away. Except it was almost worse this way, because I could only blame myself.

I pushed myself away from him, then yanked on him until he was sitting on his bed. This way, he was at _my_ normal eye-level. "Why the hell would I even try and do that?" I asked. I rarely swore, but I needed emphasis on this. I needed his attention, so he might believe the next sentence. "Chase Turnleaf, I'm in love with you!"

Chase stared at me for a second, like I was his best childhood birthday, and I needed to be cherished forever. Then he grabbed me by the waist, eyes drifting from my right eye to my left eye, like he was looking for signs that I was lying. But I wasn't. Then, when my body was mere centimeters from his, he said, "I'm in love with you, too." His voice didn't crack. He wasn't crying anymore!

My eyes widened. I hadn't really thought that he loved me back. I mean, I knew he cared for me, but could anyone actually love someone like me?

He reached out to touch my cheek with his hand, asking, "Can I kiss you?" I nodded, barely able to keep my heartbeat in check.

His lips captured my own in a flash. He'd stopped crying, but he was still holding tightly to me, trying to make sure I was still whole. I was, and I felt around his chest to make sure he was too.

He kept whispering my name, and it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I whispered his name back, and he smiled up at me. It was then that I noticed that I was laying on top of him. My cheeks lit up like fireworks. I rolled off of him, feeling deeply in love, and deeply embarrassed. I wondered what Mom would think, if she'd seen us like that.

Chase's green eyes were staring at me, watchfully. I wondered if he wanted to kiss me like that again. A terrified part of me wondered if I wanted to be kissed like that again. The answer was, of course, yes.

Instead, I shifted myself so my head was resting on his chest. It was the G-rated version. Chase instantly brought his hands to my hair, fiddling with it, wonder in his eyes. God, he was perfect.

I'm not sure how long we stayed like that. It could have been minutes, hours, even days. I didn't know anything anymore.

Chase broke our perfect bubble. We were only allowed so much pure happiness, I suppose.

"Gee, if you would've told me you loved me earlier, we could've spent so many hours like this," I heard Chase mumble. Was he honestly blaming me for this? Was he right to do so?

"I only kept it secret because I didn't know if you loved me back," I said.

"Did you really think that, after everything we've been through, there could be even the slightest possibility that I'm not in love with you?" Chase asked. His brows were furrowing themselves.

I sat up. "Well it's not like you're very vocal about your feelings, Mr. I'll Change the Subject!" I roared back, not willing to be blamed, even rightfully. He wasn't allowed to speak Adelaide to me, not when she was already talking in my head.

"As if you're any better! You're too nervous about making yourself blush to tell me anything about how you feel! Do you like when I hold your hand? When I kiss your forehead? When I play with your hair? God, every single time I try to make you feel special, you indulge for a second and then you squirm away just as quickly. I can't tell how to make you happy if you won't help me out along the way! Tell me what makes you nervous too, not just Lena!"

"You don't make me nervous like you're going too fast. You make me nervous like I think you'll hate me if I mess up and then you'll realize that I'm not actually the girl from your dream after all and that I'm actually the worst person because I can't even express how wonderful you are to your face. And then you'll find someone far prettier, much funnier, more talented, and I'll be the girl you and your wife laugh about ten years from now!"

Chase's eyes were wide. He stared at me for a minute, face crumpling. He looked like artwork as he processed the original voice of my insecurity. "Rory, what did Adelaide do to you?"

I opened my mouth, closed it, and then opened it again to say, "I don't understand."

"Rory, c'mon, I know Adelaide said a few things to you while she and I were-blech-dating. I know exactly how that girl works, and she said something to you before she left to manipulate you. Tell me what she said. _Please_ ," he begged. Chase slid his hand on top of my own.

I thought about lying outright, pretending I didn't know what he was talking about, or slapping him for thinking that I could possibly be traumatized by something _Adelaide_ had said two years ago. But she had said something, and if I wanted him to be more honest, I had to try to be as well.

Hesitantly, I recounted the events. It felt funny at first, because I'd kept it a secret for such a long time, but once I started, I could barely stop myself. "On my birthday, after you were back, and everyone knew your secret, Adelaide was really pissed. I don't know how she did it, but she got into my room without my mom hearing her or anything. I assume it was from another Wishing Coin. She glared at me and told me that I was the worst thing that had ever happened to you." My voice cracked, but I kept my emotions under control. "She said that, in a few years, you would move to Atlantis with her and you wouldn't even remember me anymore because I was worthless. She said I would mean nothing to you." I looked up at Chase, but seeing his mix of anger at Adelaide and disappointment that I'd believed her made me want to cry again.

"I mean, normally, I never let Adelaide get to me, but that time, she just hit home, I guess. During Ben's Tale, after you told me that your mom invited you to go home with her, I thought you were going to leave. It broke my heart, and I know you said I made all the difference and that you'd never want to leave now that I'm at EAS, but, I dunno, the fear is still there, I guess."

I brought my eyes up to his face. I felt vulnerable, like I'd just given Chase a key into my mind. Then, to make matters worse, a tear dribbled from my eye, down my cheek. I turned away instantly, apologizing. "I'm so sorry, Chase. May-maybe I should g-g-g-go." Great, I was sobbing.

Before I could even stand up, Chase had a hand on my arm. "Don't go. You were honest with me, and now it's my turn to tell you something. Please. Is that okay with you?"

I felt slightly torn, but I was relieved that Chase didn't hate me. Besides, I didn't really want to leave his side. I wasn't done snuggling against his chest. So I sat back the way I'd been, ready to listen to his story. His hands tangled themselves in my hair once again. Crying turned to occasionally sniffling.

"Okay, well, early in my days in Atlantis, Cal wasn't yet engaged to Dyani. They were still betrothed, and they did outings together and stuff, but the whole _we're both cool with spending our lives together_ part wasn't out of the way yet.

"So, they each had to go see an Oracle-type, (I don't know the exact translation from Fey to English) which would tell them if they could go through with marrying and make the betrothal official, or if it would cause some disaster. Naturally, everything went as planned, and Cal and Dyani carried on.

"So, anyway, Cal kinda already knew that he would be happy with Dyani, so he apparently asked about me instead. The Oracle specialized in Love and its connection to Happiness. I didn't know that he asked about me until very recently. He wrote about the person to bring me the most happiness, and the letter was given to me on my fourteenth birthday." He looked at me, all sheepish and blushing, half-sad at the memory of his brother. We both knew he'd received the letter before Miriam's Tale and before Adelaide destroyed everything. "Would you like me to read you the letter?"

I looked up at him for a moment before sitting up so I would be able to read it, too. Before I answered, I kissed him on the cheek, because I needed him to know how much this meant to me. "Yes, please, but only if you're okay reading it," I said.

He took a breath, clearly rattled at sharing so many emotions in just one day. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine reading it."

"Chase," I grabbed his wrist, forcing him to look right at me. "I mean it. If you don't really want to read it to me, then don't."

His loving eyes swung over me, cocky smile back in place. "I mean it. I want you to know me better. I also want to know you better, and this is part of it." He smirked once again, ready to stand to get the letter. But his returned arrogance was all just an act.

I stopped him for one second, allowing my desire to take some control. Taking his cheek in one hand, I brought his face closer to my own, crashing my open lips down upon his. I let my tongue hit against his for a moment, allowed myself to sit on his lap and be as intimate as I'd wanted to be with him for the moment. We'd had conversations about that stuff, and we agreed to stop the other person whenever it was necessary. He didn't try to stop me.

I told him I loved him once again, whispering, "Number five thousand."

"Four thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine," he corrected. I smiled at him, still sitting in his lap, wanting to hold him. "I have to get the letter," Chase said.

"Oh, right." I moved while he was up, but when he got back, I slid my ankles over his and rested my head on his shoulder. He smiled at our feet for a moment. He cleared his throat before beginning. I squeezed his hand.

"'Dear Chase, if you are reading this, it must mean that you have grown to the legal marital age of the Fey. Congratulations for not getting yourself killed.'" Chase paused here for a breath. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's okay, Chase. I'm here for you," I murmured into his shoulder, giving it a light kiss as well.

He nodded, unable to bring a smile to his lips. "'I've always been proud of you, for everything you do, but the function of this letter is not to compliment you. It is, instead, to compliment your future wife. Chase, I've just visited the Love and Happiness Oracle about my marriage to Dyani. I already know that the two of us are made for each other. (Have you seen the way she looks at me?) I thought it would be much better if I asked about your life instead, seeing that you most likely will not be betrothed to a princess like I am, and will not have the opportunity to consult with her.

"'However, there is a remarkable girl that I saw for you. The Oracle said _Her eyes hold both the brown and the green of a tree. She has a boisterous laugh, complementing bravery as tangible as a scar. He will fall deeper than anyone else ever has, for that girl has a heart like no other, and he will need both to be loved and to love at the time of their meeting. These two will change the world with their capacity for love_.

"'So, little brother, I think you might end up beating out even me on the marriage front. Don't settle for anyone but this girl. (The Oracle said you would call her Rory, if that means anything to you.) I wish you two the greatest happiness, not that you need my support in addition to a prophecy such as this.

Love, Cal

"Well, that's the end," Chase said.

"Chase?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you really love me like that? Like we're in a fantasy? Like I'm perfect?"

"You _are_ perfect, Rory," he whispered.

It was a wonder, how easy it was to speak your mind when you were talking to the right person. I feared I'd never want to stop telling Chase that I loved him. Perhaps that wasn't anything to worry about.

"Chase?"

"Yes?"

"I think you're perfect, too. I've thought it for a long, long time, actually, but if you let it go to your head I'll deny that I ever said anything," I joked, pointing at him.

Chase smiled at me.

"Rory?"

"Yes?"

"Will you sit on my lap again?" he asked. I must have blushed or given him a look because he said, "I thought we were just being honest! Damn, I screwed up the whole thing!"

I laughed at him without a second thought. Then, I plunked myself back on his lap. He looked at me happily, amazed that I'd actually agreed. I rested my head against his chin and he kissed the crown of my head. I felt like I was walking one air.

"You know when you said that Adelaide tried to tell you that you were the worst thing that ever happened to me?" Chase asked, his breath tickling my forehead. He was _so warm_.

"Yeah," I said.

"Well, I want you to know that you're actually the best thing that's ever happened to me. I could _never_ forget someone as wonderful as you."

"Chase," I whispered, "I want you to know that I'm so deeply in love with you I don't even know what to do anymore."

He kissed my head. "Are you cold? Or just shivering for fun?"

I scoffed. "Well, I'm always cold when I get sad now, because the feeling reminds me of— "

"Oh," Chase said, shaking his head in shame for not thinking.

"You're really warm, though. It makes me much more comfortable."

"Well, I'm glad to be of service." I laughed at his goofy smile, and he laughed at my silly giggle.

Eventually, Chase walked me to the infirmary. He noticed a cut along my neck when he'd been kissing my cheek for the umpteenth time. He held my hand until my dad got there, because he wanted to seem less overbearing in front of the one and only Eric Landon.

Dad and Chase have one of the funniest relationships in the world. Dad's totally cool with Chase. In fact, he couldn't be happier to know that I'd found someone as respectful as Chase was. But Dad liked to tease.

Although, considering all of EAS was talking about how I hadn't left Chase's room all afternoon, and that we'd been in there alone, and that someone claimed to have heard "passionate yelling," I'm not so sure that Dad was teasing Chase that day.

But he got over it, once I explained to him that all we'd done was snuggle and comfort each other.

I didn't tell him that I sat on Chase's lap though, no matter innocent the act was in reality.

That much could be my secret with Chase, along with Cal's letter and Adelaide's claim.

And Chase's crying.

The only thing we shared publicly was that we were officially cool with being a sappy couple if it meant we got to share secrets and say "I'm in love with you" all the time. We had perfect bliss. Well, most of the time, but that's more than most people can say. After all, apparently our love is corny enough to change the world. Ben's going to be so jealous.


End file.
